“Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you’re free
Look into your heart and you’ll find love love love love
Listen to the music of the moment people, dance and sing
We’re just one big family
And it’s our God-forsaken right to be loved loved loved loved loved”
– Jason Mraz “I’m Yours” Click here for a Live Version from you Tube
With Valentine’s Day upon us, I felt this would be an excellent time to write about love. Love truly IS the answer to everything. Love can heal. Love can inspire. Love can make you feel all warm and fuzzy like nothing else I know (ok – MAYBE tiramisu does that to me sometimes)! People emailed and left comments on my last post, “Claim Your Personal Power” about my quote, “You need to be an example of how you want people to treat you”. It is also of course very important to be aware of how we treat others – ALL others in our life. We all NEED love and we are ALL deserving of love. Do you treat yourself, strangers, co-workers, friends, family members, your children and your spouse/significant other with love? Use these points to see where you are in projecting love and to think about what YOU can do to radiate love out to everyone in your life so that you are in the right mode for receiving it back to you.
I think I exhausted this in the last post “Claim Your Personal Power” and in others so “self love” will be brief here. You NEED to get in touch with the parts of you that you love and celebrate those! Self love is the basis for all other love in your life. YOU are reflecting to people by your love of yourself HOW you want to be treated. Fall in love with yourself and You can EXPECT an endless stream of love back to you.
How are you when you go to the grocery store? When you need to talk with a customer service person? Are you talking to them out of love? Are you smiling at the other customers in the grocery store or do you have your head down, feeling as disconnected to everyone around you as possible? We are ALL connected. We are ALL God’s children. Essentially we are ALL family. We all need and CRAVE love.
How do you feel when a stranger takes the time to smile at you, hold the door, let you ahead of them, make a nice comment about something? These simple gestures can change that person’s mood in a moment and then they can go and reflect that out to others.
When you are frustrated by something not working properly and you call for assistance, do you think about what it must be like to be listening to others complain ALL DAY long? Try showing the next customer service representative you talk to the same respect and kindness you would like to be treated with and SEE what happens. Try simply thinking “love” the next time you go out to run errands and see how this affects your experience as well as those around you.
Yes, they need love too! If you are coming at your co-workers with suspicion, blame, competition and anger you will get that right back at you. Maybe that co worker that gives you a frown every time you pass is doing so because they feel you frowning at them from the inside. You don’t need to agree with everyone or for all your co workers to become your best friends. You DO need to treat everyone with the same respect and love that you would want to be treated with.
Treat co workers with respect; smile, listen, be conscious when you are speaking with them so you really HEAR what they are saying, and realize even if you are very different you are still connected. When you start to think of us all as connected it becomes easier to radiate love out to those that you might not have thought that way about before.
You pick your friends, correct? Do you show them you love and appreciate them? Do you think of them as people to hear your problems and help you or do you think of it as a reciprocal relationship? Treat your friends with love and respect. We are all different and that is a GOOD thing. Do not judge others too harshly. Be honest. LISTEN to them instead of waiting to talk. Take turns so it is not a one sided relationship. Appreciate all they do for you and always say thank you and show love. Friends are a gift and I am blessed with many I consider extended family. Do not take them for granted — or else they will FEEL taken for granted. Show them love however you can — even a simple note or email saying “thank you” goes a long long way!
I know I am blessed in this regard. I love my parents dearly and even in their divorce they stayed friends and were an example of how to handle things with class. I appreciate them for all they have done and continue to do for me, the life lessons they have taught me and for who they are. I make sure I tell them. I am fully aware not all families have the same experience I have had.
I do see MANY long lived family grudges that can be resolved with awareness and forgiveness. Time for my favorite Chopra Quote again! (sorry regular readers)
“You must realize everyone is doing the best they can from their own state of consciousness” — Dr. Deepak Chopra
I would like to ask you to think about a family quarrel you may have held onto from the point of view of the above quote. MOST things that cause feuds are not some long thought out plot to do another person wrong. Many “incidents” are reactions to an occurrence. That person is reacting from how and what they know and while on “auto pilot”. Feelings gets hurt, pride gets in the way, (The Tolle “Pain Body” steps in) and no one wants to be the first one to say “I am sorry”. People go over and over the same thing in their head yet THAT usually does not make it better…. there IS a better way. TRY and put yourself in the other person’s place. Try and ask yourself if they CONSCIOUSLY hurt you. Ask yourself if this is something you can move past so that it is not something holding you both back from a future you can enjoy together.
Everyone is different — and how boring a place it would be if we were all the same. You do NOT need to THINK and FEEL the same way about life, politics, religion as your parents/family to get along. THINK about what you ARE grateful to them for. FEEL gratitude for their positive attributes. EVERYONE wants to feel love and love does in fact heal. These are times when we all need to come together and help each other. Show love and appreciation for the family that you were born into. If it was a truly horrible upbringing, be grateful that through their example – you have learned to be a “better and stronger person”.
Think about how YOUR perception of your family affects the way they treat you. Is there any way to show them more love, heal past wounds and move forward in a more positive direction? Show members of your family love — notes, emails, phone calls, hugs, “conscious” conversations… these all go a long way to showing your love and can be used to heal relationships.
If you read my interview with James Sinclair, Director of the movie “What If?” (or saw the brilliant movie) you KNOW just how important it is to send positive messages of love to your kids – from birth! Until the age of 6 we are in “receiving mode”. All the messages and events around us get firmly planted into the our subsconscious to become the recordings we hear when we are “on auto pilot”. PLEASE try and make the messages you send your children positive ones.
Kids ARE LOVE when they are born. They know nothing else. They have been warm and cozy and taken care of for 9 months and are born dependent on us for nurturing and existence. Giving a child love is JUST as important as giving them food. SHOWING them HOW to think about themselves and treat others is giving them a foundation for how they will live their life. If you are a parent or around a young child, your voice will be one of those they will hear when they are on auto-pilot years later… what kind of messages do you want them to be playing back to themselves?
Conscious parenting is essential. Do not leave it up to the TV and computer to parent your child. Do you have “too much to do?”. GREAT, have the child HELP you do it and explain and communicate with them that you enjoy them helping. I have seen folding a washcloth bring joy and pride to children. Take 10 minutes away from your “to do’s” and read to the child, tell them how great they are, listen to their stories. If you want to implant positive messages further, use positive books to help. Wayne Dyer’s “Unstoppable Me” and “Incredible You” are priceless in this and children LOVE them.
Look, I have 2 children, I UNDERSTAND that sometimes you want to shake your head, scream or roll your eyes… BELIEVE ME! Try and stop yourself next time and see how else you can come at the situation…. If it is too late and you have reacted badly, talk to your kids about how you reacted, apologize, tell them you love them — no matter WHAT. Children are very forgiving. Celebrate your child’s strengths. Children look to adults to see how to feel and behave. If you need a “time out” by all means take one… it is a good example to set for your child. I have said, “Mommy is upset right now and I am going to take 5 minutes to take some deep breaths and think about how I am feeling”. Explain to your children they should think about their emotions and process them.
Lastly with children — PLAY. Children do not need any toys to play — there is charades, there are dance parties, there is their endless imagination and simple story telling. Children love to play and love to laugh. Encouraging play and laughter and being conscious with your child as you explore ways to facilitate them is a BEAUTIFUL thing. Fall in love with your kids – every child deserves LOVE!
My post; “How to Stay in Love and Help it to Grow” is one of my most popular — please check it out if you have not already. Your significant other is called “your other half” and if you have gotten married — most likely you have sworn in front of God to love and cherish each other. I see MANY couples that do not do this and in fact treat their spouse worse than anyone else in their life.
Why does it seem SO easy if we have a bad day to take it out on the person we have decided we want to spend the rest of our lives with? Doesn’t seem to make much sense, does it? Do we like it when we are talked to in a “less than pleasant manner” by our “significant other” and yet have no clue why?
Instead try listing 5 things you DO love about that person. Recognize that you BOTH need to be shown kindness and appreciation. Somehow after tasks/chores are assigned it is taken for granted that the person will do them. When is the last time you showed appreciation for that person doing that chore? When is the last time you looked at the most important person in your life and tried to understand what they were feeling or ASKED how YOU can help them?
Life moves fast. It feels like we all have thousands of things to do every day and less and less time to do it with. Make TIME — CONSCIOUS time for each other. Time to go over the bills or family calendar DO NOT COUNT. Time to remember WHY you are together and to “Let go” of the daily STUFF that gets in the way of you “JUST BEING”. Show them love and they will be much more likely to give it right back to you.
There are many ways to show love to people in our lives, from the grocery clerk to our closest loved ones. Everyone needs love and we all have the ability to make the people’s days around us a lot brighter by emanating love. Happy Valentine’s Day to you and all who you hold dear!
How else do you show love to your loved ones or complete strangers? I would love to hear your stories and ideas.
Thank you to WD Favour, your latest post where you describe to your daughter HOW we are ALL God deeply touched my heart.
Thank you Anna Conlan from “Healing and Insight” for your testimonial for Reconnective Healing — It is so greatly appreciated, touched my heart and I look forward to posting it soon. It has been a delight getting to know you!
Thank you Paula of “Journey Inward Productions” for your continued friendship and coming to my rescue when I truly believed I was going insane! You are awesome!
Thank you Camille of “Joyz a Choice“, I appreciate your patience with me and you just being so sweet — ALWAYS! We WILL catch up soon and I GREATLY look forward to it!
I am so blessed and could go on for pages for everyone I am grateful for but I think this post at over 2,300 words is ready to be ended! Thank you – EVERYONE who supports, encourages and inspires me…. I am truly grateful for all the wonderful people in my life and amazing opportunities coming my way. Comments, questions and suggestions are ALWAYS welcome here!