Setting goals empowers you. Setting goals gives you direction. Setting goals tells your inner self that you do love and trust in yourself to move forward. Setting goals affirms that you realize you are an active participant in creating the life you want. If anyone had told me to set big goals when I was ill I would have thought they “just did not understand how badly I felt”. While healing myself it became evident I NEEDED to set goals to heal and feel empowered instead of feeling dis-empowered and like “I couldn’t do anything”. Now I am setting goals larger than I ever imagined and use setting goals as a tool when I am mentoring clients through my “Paging Me System“. No matter WHAT your state of mind and health is — you can set goals in one or many areas of your life. I want to talk to you about WHY setting goals is important to your well being, tell you about breaking goals into mini goals and tell you about a couple of BIG goals I have just set for myself. Of course I LOVE when you share and welcome comments and conversations about goals you have set.
Why Set Goals
“Most of our decisions in life are based on whether or not we can give ourselves permission to tackle the big things. Whether or not we give ourselves permission is based on the amount of courage and self-esteem that we possess.” — From Alex Shalman’s post, “Permission to Think Big“
My friend Alex put it so well. Setting goals tells our inner self that we do have self esteem and courage. It is a way of empowering ourselves. It is a way of not giving up or giving in to what we are “assuming our circumstances to be”. There is always another way of looking at things.
If there are parts of your life you are unhappy with (or even parts you just want to TWEAK a bit) setting goals can let you see how it CAN be better. It is a check-in system of every part of your life and an action plan of what to do in each to move forward in a direction you want your life to go in.
When ill or upset about life in general I know it can be difficult to see yourself tackling big goals but it is all in your perspective. You can set goals in all different areas of your life; relational goals, financial goals, emotional goals, physical goals, mental goals, spiritual goals and more. When I was ill I was focusing on what I couldn’t do or accomplish. I AGONIZED over it! Chronic pain can definitely make you feel dis-empowered. I went from being someone who had her list of 20-30 things that “needed to get done daily” to someone who was told she would only get worse and would be immobile — and I BELIEVED IT.
When you say to yourself “I want to make this happen” whether it is coming into a better relationship with a loved one, walking regularly, making new friends, becoming more intuitive, learning something new or anything else you can imagine — you are telling yourself there is hope and you are NOT giving up on yourself. You are putting that possibility out there “what IF I could make this happen?” and naming what you want. Many of us tend to generalize “I just want to be happy”, “I would like to find a good mate” but the clearer you get (YES writing it down HELPS tremendously) the better chance there is of it happening. WHAT would make you happy in the different areas of your life? Think about them one at a time or set a few goals in a few different areas of your life. I usually have a few at a time I am working on in different areas. If one area seems a bit “stuck” it helps me to look at another area and go back to the first with a fresh perspective rather than pushing when I am meeting resistance.
Do you feel too ill to set physical goals right now? Then start with goals in other parts of your life. As you build your self esteem from things accomplished setting bigger and bigger goals in other parts of your life won’t seem that impossible anymore. You WILL begin to come into your power and see that Yes, You CAN Make Your Life Better.
JUST the Word Goals can set people into panic but that need not be the case. My favorite definition of goals is: the final destination of a journey. LIFE is a journey and if you don’t have your course set and an image of where you are going — you are likely to feel like you are treading water in a turbulent ocean instead of being guided and coasting to your destination.If you are not sure WHAT you would even want then maybe it is time to take some time for yourself and ask yourself What Is Guiding You?
If big goals scare you — you can either begin smaller or you can break those big goals into mini goals.
Mini Goals
Since this IS a part of what I coach from I have written about them before in “Mini Goals to Heal Pain and Move Forward with Life” and “Five Writing Exercises to Help Heal Pain“. I feel mini goals make setting goals a whole lot easier. If I had said “I want to totally be healthy” but did not flesh out steps I was taking to make that happen… it would have seemed staggering to me. It might have even made me immobile because of the sheer enormity of that statement. When you set mini goals or baby steps to make things happen you are allowing yourself to celebrate each step accomplished. You are gaining confidence each step of the way. You are also allowing yourself some room to revise the goal if it suddenly seems you are being led in a different direction or a smaller goal would be just fine. An example:
You want to lose weight and to do that you believe you need to work out 5 times a week for 30 minutes a day. It would be difficult to go from inactivity to this all of a sudden so you take little steps to build yourself up. Perhaps you begin with 1-2 times a week and get up to 3 times and you feel THAT is the level that is comfortable for you. You are seeing results and feel that 5 times would be overkill and you don’t know how to fit it into your schedule. Mini goals allows you to re-asses along the way and to celebrate EACH success along the way.
Please congratulate yourself for EACH and EVERY small step. It is a step forward you would not have taken before and that is progress. Do not belittle it. Do not listen to that little ego-ic voice saying it is not enough. It is YOU taking control over different aspects of your life and telling yourself you love yourself enough to do just that. You can even set rewards in place if that helps you. Whatever you need to motivate yourself and keep moving forward. You can adjust the mini goals… life is always throwing in changes and you need to give yourself permission to “go with the flow” a bit. Resistance can cause immobility when it usually means there is a lesson to be learned or you are not going in the right direction for that moment.
I continue to set mini goals and now is the really the first time in my life and I am confident enough to set some Big Hairy Audacious Goals as well. 
My Big Hairy Audacious Goals
Thanks to my friend Suzie Cheel of Abundance Highway for not just introducing me to what BHAG’s were but for leading the way. I have admired Suzie for putting BIG goals out there publicly, living up to them and now FEEL I am ready to do the same.Thank you Suzie!!!!
MY BHAG: I am currently working on bringing the movie The Living Matrix to my town for an audience of around 500 people. This from someone who wasn’t quite a hermit but definitely had my close friends and was not very involved in my community for the first 4 of my 5 1/2 years living here. Luckily getting involved has been an intention and I have met some truly incredible people doing life changing things in my town and the surrounding area.
I KNEW I wanted people to see The Living Matrix after I saw it. It touched me deeply. It connected science to the healing work I was doing. It defined the New Science of Healing so well and made so much sense. I contacted the Producer, Susan Becker and talked to her about it. She was an incredible person to talk to and was VERY supportive but she told me honestly, “You are going to need a lot of help with this”. If you know me you know one of my BIGGEST issues I still face is asking for help. I got off the phone, sat in the room where I meditate and said to myself “I WANT to do this. This is going to bring much needed information to my community. Please show me HOW I can get the help I need to pull this off”.
I sat for a while thinking, meditating, praying (Yes — trying to do everything BUT WORRY — yeah of course SOME of that slipped in 
) and went downstairs a half hour later. In my inbox was an email from the woman that ran the Spiritual Arts Fair in my community which I volunteered and did a workshop for. The Spiritual Arts Fair was a HUGE event to organize and had been over a month before but it was THIS moment that I received an email from her. I know there are no coincidences anymore and reached out to her and she said she would be DELIGHTED to help me. The rest has been magical. I have 2 other women working with us and we all have our own strengths to contribute to the project. I have at least 20 other people in the community willing to hand out fliers, do marketing and spread the word. The original woman I spoke to is RELATED to a member of the cast. I found the perfect Non Profit to sponsor this so we can make it a non profit event…. They provide funding for people to be educated in wellness, alternative treatments and consciousness. Meaning people who want to try alternative treatments but don’t have the money and people who would like to be educated in one of these modalities can apply for assistance through this organization. It is all coming together and WOW have my eyes been open to what is possible. Yes, we have our “work to do”. WOW do we! But it is a beautiful way for me to get involved in my community and I keep picturing the end result. I am sure I will keep you posted on this.
I have a few other BIG GOALS (not sure if they all fit the hairy audacious category) as well.
– I would love to be part of starting a wellness center in my town. My husband, Ray is a 3rd degree Black Belt in Tae Kwon Do and currently has a Tae Kwon Do school that also hosts such classes as Tai Chi, belly dancing and yoga dance and I know plenty of healers who would love to be in one place.
– I just got asked to host a radio show that will be produced for me and need to get out there and look for sponsors – again, asking for help — unnatural to me — but necessary. “I can DO It” (she says with a hesitant grin).
– I STILL would love to pursue my invention (worked on it for 5 years then it took a back seat to coaching, healing and writing).
– I would love to continue with belly dance and yoga dance and be in the best shape of my life.
– I want have a book I have written published (okay maybe 10) but I would love to begin with my first one
– I want to travel and meet some more of the wonderful people I have met online as well as visit friends and family I have not seen in years.
Believe it or not – I have more – but I will leave it at that! Funny how freeing and scary this feels at the same time!
I never would have thought of setting these a few years ago and could not even have imagined where I am today in my career and personal life. I am surrounded by open minded intelligent people, I am TOTALLY healthy (yeah yeah minus the last 10 lb – but I am told a belly is GOOD for belly dancing) , I look forward to every day and EXPECT miracles, I am so grateful for my website and the community here, I have clients that I adore and absolutely love Reconnective Healing, I am continually growing and working on myself and feel there is no limit to what I (OR ANYONE ELSE FOR THAT MATTER) can do! I love that the more I learn the more certain I am that I will ALWAYS be learning and re-assessing my goals to move forward. There is so much I want to do and experience and learn!!!!
Setting goals and breaking them down into mini goals in different areas of your life is a good way to figure out where you are and where you would like to be. It is strategy to bring about action instead of immobility. The more you flesh out your goals the better. If you write them down that is AWESOME and it is something you can go back to and give yourself a pat on the back for how far you have come. I know it can feel overwhelming — if it does — begin with an area of your life you just need some “tweaking” in, build your self confidence and self love and move on from there. You can do it. We all can live our best lives and come into our power but it begins with acknowledging where you are and setting goals for where you want to be.
I LOVE hearing about goals and stories of goals met. Please share and let me know what you think about some of mine. Any sponsors out there for a hip new radio show?
This is a beautiful post, and I’m honored that you have included me as part of it. =)
.-= Alex Shalman´s last blog ..Permission to Think Big =-.
Thank you so much for the link love and this absolutely inspiring writing.
I love that you remind me about BHAG’s. I read your BHAG list and realized that I keep putting myself out there and most times I love it, sometimes I stop myself. I see myself out there and somtimes it’s like there are 2 of me. I am watching myself perform- facinating.
I want to know more about your radio show. Your show with me will get up this week. I now have a clearer picture of how I want the show to be.
Now sponsorship is something else- I forget I just have to ask:)
I feel honored to be your friend
love and hugs
Suzie
.-= Suzie Cheel´s last blog ..Help Me Get On National TV! =-.
Hi Alex,
My pleasure to include you!
Many times over the last 2 years I have looked to you for inspiration and have said to myself “wow, can I even imagine what I would be doing now if I knew half the stuff Alex does at his age?” 
Thanks for all you do and you are a perfect example of someone who sets lots of goals and GETS THINGS DONE. 
I look forward to hearing of your many successes.
Love,
Jenny
Hey there Suzie,
The feeling of honor is very mutual. I remember gasping when reading your first BHAG and thinking “WOW does she have courage — I could NEVER do that”.
Ahh.. I guess never say never. 
Yes, let’s talk soon and I will fill you in on the radio adventure – another thing I said I wouldn’t do — ok I’ll just keep my mouth shut with the “I will never” from now on.
Obviously my life is being led on quite the journey and I have no clue what’s in store and what I WILL do. 
The asking Suzie? Sigh… another thing I have said I would never be comfortable doing and I am getting better in SOME instances… for example for getting the movie shown here I did not hesitate when I saw the the email to ask for help. BUT to ask for money for sponsorship… I have a feeling I will be working on that one… I am taking Andrea Hess’s class on aligning spiritual work with abundance and it is helping… I love her – she’s so wise!
Glad you got a clearer picture for your show. Can’t wait to hear about it. Let’s talk soon.
Lots of Love, xo
Jenny
Hi Jenny,
Just found you on Twitter and had to read this blog. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on goals and your experiences. It’s amazing how by having a goal it starts to create a vacuum attracting you towards it. I like John Demartini’s Manifestation Formula because it puts power and energy behind your goal and dreams. Really powerful stuff. You can do it!
Cheers,
Toni
Hi Toni,
So nice to meet another Reconnective Healing Practitioner as well! I like John Demartini’s work too – seems like we have a lot in common — I just visited your site. Thanks so much for visiting and commenting and I look forward to getting to know you. We can all do SUCH amazing stuff — it is a wonderful time to be living in to see this information getting out there.
Gratefully,
Jenny
@Jenny you’re absolutely too sweet to me
.-= Alex Shalman´s last blog ..Permission to Think Big =-.
Hi Jenny – I think the part of this post that stuck out the most for me was the part about hope. Looking towards the future, imagining what you want and making a plan to get there are all very hopeful activities. Even though you are acting now, you are really building something for the future.
.-= Amanda Linehan´s last blog ..What To Do When You Feel Stuck =-.
Hi Jenny,
This was just absolutely wonderful and empowering to read! Good for you, stating your goals so publicly here!
I’ve been working with a life coach (on the idea of writing a book) and it has been one of the most enlightening times for me. We’re nearing the end of our 12 weeks together – a total of two of us plus our coach – on all the calls. So, the focus wasn’t specifically on writing a book, as much as it was on designing our destiny. With the small group we had, it was easy, though, to spend time on each other’s goals and dreams. One activity our coach had us do was to come up with a list of a few things we wanted to accomplish in the next 10 years. We then wrote them down, and assigned dates to them – and then sent them to her. She has become so much more than just a coach – she’s really become a great friend in the process. In fact, my family met up with her and her family when we were on vacation. Anyway, I know she’ll keep this list I’ve given her, and follow up with where I’m at with it all. And really, it felt good to write these goals down and give them dates. A bit scary too – as the first one coming up I broke down into mini-goals, and I have one coming up quickly! The thing is, though, there is really something to be said about stating our goals and writing them down. It makes them more “real”.
Jenny – I’m so excited for you and for what you have planned and are working on! You are living big and hairy (okay…why doesn’t that sound right???). You are living these grand ideas and I really feel so much energy from this post!
Keep being amazing and awesome in all you do! You send so much love and light out into the world, and I feel that every time I’m here!
.-= Lance´s last blog ..Set The Rebel Free =-.
Hey Alex – no such thing as too sweet!
You deserve it.
Hi Amanda,
Yes, seems simple doesn’t it – just even considering that we can do better and are in control of pointing our lives in the direction we want is so empowering and hopeful. If we don’t set goals for our life, who will? Always nice to hear from you – thanks so much for commenting.
Love,
Jenny
Hey There Lance,
Thanks you so much for your kind words. Sending love and light to the world is my passion and I am so happy you get that from my posts.
I love your writing — you already have an eager fan awaiting your book.
You life coach experience sounds wonderful. I have definitely been on the look out for a mentor here in my town…. I learn a lot from my friends but definitely take on the role of teacher often in person and would like someone to guide me and give me suggestions. I have been in a mastermind group the last 2 years and they have helped tremendously as well to throw ideas around with.
I am very excited about everything going on in my life and this first week of summer vacation for my kids has made me realize how important balance will be for me. I want to be sure to have lots of fun with them and do things we don’t get to do during the school year. My son asked this morning “Mom can we skip tennis today and just hang out together?”. I was happy to say yes and look forward to the time… coincidentally enough the skies opened and it looks like they wouldn’t have had it anyway.:-) Ahh — gotta love synchronicities. Off to spend the time with them and later I get to take them to a place we are looking at for the wellness center – VERY exciting stuff!
I always love hearing from you Lance. Thank you so much for sharing.
Love,
Jenny
Hi Jenny, great article. I am fortunate to be a natural born goal setter and looking back I am so grateful. I love the energy of always reaching for achievement in every area of life. Of all the skills that can serve us, goal setting is one of the most powerful and most basic.
.-= Jonathan – Advanced Life Skills´s last blog ..The Relationship Between Success and Failure =-.
Hi Jonathan,
I agree — goal setting is so very powerful and something we can all do. That is wonderful it is something that was natural to you. It was natural for me to make daily lists but really reaching out and setting long term goals is something I have just done the last 3 years and with amazing results.
If you know where you want to be in all the areas of your life it sure is a LOT easier to get there!
Thanks so much for commenting.
Love,
Jenny
This is just what I needed to read right now!
.-= Mama Zen´s last blog ..Fearless =-.
Hi Mama Zen,
So happy it helped. I just visited your blog and really enjoyed it — I’ll be back — awesome pictures! Thanks so much for commenting.
Gratefully,
Jenny
.-= Jenny Mannion´s last blog ..Setting Big Goals to Heal and Feel Empowered =-.
Hi Jenny!
WOW. You DO have a lot going on! After reading your email, I had to come out and check for myself! lol…I am right there with you on a lot of those. I tried to watch The Living Matrix, as you recommended, and it was not in our town anywhere. What a huge project, but it seems that it would be very rewarding to do it! What a great way to build community too. I would love to know more about your radio show. Of course, you will let us know when it is on!
.-= Amy Jewell / Cirklagirl´s last blog ..Creative Freedom =-.
Hi Amy,
Yes I do have a LOT going on… It is exciting and keeping me busy. The Living Matrix is only available on DVD right now on their site. There are some screenings being booked currently all over the world…. I think we will host the first one in NY State.
Voice America offered me a show and I will be working with them soon… and of course will keep you updated. I want some other things to die down a bit and give it my complete focus.
Would love to talk soon. Have a very happy 4th of July weekend.
Love,
Jenny
.-= Jenny Mannion´s last blog ..Setting Big Goals to Heal and Feel Empowered =-.
It was amazing looking over your vision board yesterday and seeing all the goals large and small that had been realized. My recent knee/foot injury is finally subsiding mostly because I set daily goals of what I was going to accomplish with it. The first day was just walking and stretching. A week or so later, I was teaching the warmup. I’m finally back to doing a full class. I guess it all comes down to the question “What CAN I do today” to get me where I want to be.
Thanks so much for announcing your BHAGs. It is so FUN to know that they will all come true just as the ones on your vision board already have.
.-= Ray Mannion´s last blog ..Best advice for teaching children =-.
Hi hon-I-mean-Ray,
Yes, “What Can I do today?” is an awesome way to begin as long as you don’t overload yourself with to-do’s – you don’t know anyone who does that, do you? 
Thank YOU! It was amazing to look over the vision board with you and I think it’s time to make a new one — a good summer activity for me and the kids.
Thanks for inspiring and encouraging me. Yesterday was just another example of the many reasons I continue to fall more in love with you — what a perfect day together – who thought cleaning up clutter could be so much fun?
Love you madly,
Jen
“Yes, You CAN Make Your Life Better.”
Jenny, this was a wonderful article. That phrase stuck out at me. I was in the dumper physically and mentally about 7 months ago and I just decided to dump the doctors and get better myself.
.-= Stephen – Rat Race Trap´s last blog ..Contentment =-.
Hi Stephen,
So happy you enjoyed the article and even happier you took your life into your own hands and have seen the results. Amazing they don’t teach this stuff in schools, huh? It is my hope that I WILL see that happen in my lifetime.
I really appreciate your support Stephen. Thanks so much.
Love,
Jenny
.-= Jenny Mannion´s last blog ..Setting Big Goals to Heal and Feel Empowered =-.
Thanks for this, Jenny. I really needed to see it today. As always, your timing (or would that be ‘my’ timing?) is PERFECT!
Hugs & Largest Love~
Camille
.-= Camille Strate´s last blog ..let the fires rage =-.
Hi Camille,
Always happy to hear a post has helped…. I think it is YOUR timing.
Miss you and hope to hear your beautiful voice soon. xoxo
Love,
Jenny