Friendship has a lot of different faces. There are the friends that drain you, casual friends that don’t have much of an affect on you, friends you go through phases with of being close and drifting, or friends that can help to heal you they know you so well or are so uplifting.
On Saturday I will be maid of honor in my best friend’s wedding. Julie and I have been friends for over 26 years and as I review the poem I wrote to read to her at the toast I am reminded of what a true friendship we have and how lucky I have been in friendships in my life.
When I was ill there were friends that truly dropped me. They figured I would be no fun or felt they didn’t know how to relate to me. I also pulled back from a lot of people because I felt limited and did not ever want to complain. I was immersed in my pain and limitations but there were still those friends that when I talked to them — I felt lighter. Friends that made me laugh, friends that always had something good to tell me about, friends that asked me about me and listened to the answer rather than just waiting to talk. Friends that didn’t judge — just let me be me and loved me for who I was.
When I started reading Susan Sark she talked about the importance of friends and I started REALLY looking at all the wonderful people I have been lucky enough to know in my life. I started calling old friends I hadn’t talked to. I took my first mini vacation in 8 years away from my husband and kids to NYC where I met up with 20 friends from different times of my life for dinner. Boy was THAT fun! I also started taking hour long walks a few times a week with my close friend Angela. A talk with a good friend can feel better than just about anything else; inspirational, thought provoking, fun, warm, loving and uplifting.
When I was in the process of healing myself I made sure I spent a lot more time around my friends that made me feel good. Calling a good friend you haven’t talked to in a while is a GREAT way to elevate your mood as well as your friend’s mood. I am always amazed that I can talk to a friend I haven’t talked to in YEARS and it feels like not a day has passed (except we both have LOTS of share and catch up on).
Good friends are so necessary to our well being. It is important not to take them for granted or to forget about the good ones you have made. Next time you know you have 1/2 hour and are thinking about watching TV or playing a game — why not pick up the phone instead? Call a friend you haven’t talked to in a while that you miss. You will immediately lift their mood as well as yours. You will have also gained 1/2 hour of much greater entertainment and reward than the computer or the TV could give you.