This is probably one of the most vulnerable posts I have written. It is about my relationship with money and my decision to raise my rates.
I grew up the child of teenaged parents. They struggled, but always did provide and tried to make me feel like money was not an issue, even though sometimes it became evident it was. I grew up on the Upper East side of NYC and had a lot more than many people and a lot less than others. Truly middle-class. They moved to Manhattan from Brooklyn, when I was 6 years old. The rents were still very low (it was 1975) and luckily we got into a rent stabilized apartment. When I graduated college I was able to move back in paying only $600/month rent which was unheard of. As I went through graduate school, a part time job was able to pay the rent but I found myself struggling with money for the first time as living in NYC was not cheap.
That was the first of many times I struggled. It felt like I was on a roller coaster with money. There were times I made a ton and times I struggled to buy groceries. And everything in between. My parents split up when I was 9 and my step dad and my mom were so overly generous all the time.. with waiters, with gifts, with taking people to dinner, with just about everything. They truly taught me how to love giving to people, something I already loved but they took to a whole new level. I still hold that love of giving things from my heart and when I am in stores will pick something up if I feel “this person will LOVE this”. My mom was the most generous person I ever knew and I strive to be like her – as I love love so much and knew how it felt to be loved like that. My kids luckily got to feel that too – food made from the heart, gifts that showed she knew you deeply, and the love she got giving any time you received.
When my husband and I separated I was terrified at being a single mom and definitely went into “survival mode”. I felt I truly was concentrating on surviving, not thriving. I saw that my monetary situation would roller coaster and just when it felt like I was getting legs under me – something would occur and then I would feel lack again. The self talk that followed was horrendous… I felt unable to be a good mom, friend, daughter, etc. the way I wanted to. I was wanting to be generous to all around me but it’s hard to do that when you are struggling to figure out how to pay bills. I know that the amount of money and gifts you can give does not qualify you as a “good” mom or “good” anything in relationship with others.. consciously I know that – but that subconscious mind just loves to judge and berate.
When I started my business as an alternative healing practitioner my rates were low and I took a lot of people for free. I remember after my first Akashic record training I was supposed to give 3 free readings to get me used to giving them – I did 7 or 8 for free. Once I saw the profound affect they were having on people I raised my rates to what I found was typical “going rate” online for readings (15 years ago) and I was receiving them in abundance. I was making more money than I had my whole life and felt really proud of myself. Then when my separation occurred, I know there was a lot of negative self-talk and feeling I was in that survival mode and I actually lowered my rates and was attracting to me tons of people who were saying they wanted my services but could not afford them.
My rates have stayed at that lowered rate the last 10 years. Since, I have still been on the roller coaster with money. I took time off to take care of my mom and that really affected me financially, though of course I have not one regret as that time was priceless. After her passing, I recreated my business, but that was from a place of severe grief and while some aspects of my site exactly represent me, some did not as I was still very much transforming. I left my rates the same and also added publicly (I had been doing this privately for years) that I worked with sliding scale rates as well. This was against the advice of most of my colleagues but I remembered well how it felt not to have any money and to want something.. I did not want to make anyone else feel like that.
But I also know I am not responsible how others people feel and me shrinking down to accommodate others does not encourage others to step forward into their own light. I have been on this journey over 15 years and the most important guideline for me has been to “walk my talk”. That has meant leaving relationships I thought I would have forever because they did not serve either of us anymore even though it hurt like hell, that has meant tough conversations, that has meant uncomfortable growth, endless classes on self-development – (spending thousands upon thousands of dollars on that in the process), several “dark nights of the soul” and times where that self-analysis brought me such shame and grief that it was truly hard to see the light at the end of it. Processing child sexual abuse, unhealthy habits, the days I had shrunk down was not pretty – but it WAS necessary for me to be where I am today.
Last year, because of my finances, and after a lot of contemplation, I let go of my loved assistant of 10 years, I changed mentors and took myself off of a cancer site where I received 80% of my clients. It took away 80% of my income, but I knew working with that population most of the time was taking me back to the caregiving for my mom and I was feeling drained and triggered a lot of the time. I also knew there were other populations of people I could help with my 15 years of experience. I decided to pivot to helping people with self-love and attracting healthy relationships. That is something I have done first hand and helped hundreds of people with and have confidence in doing. I receive great joy seeing my clients use the tools and watch in amazement as their life and the relationships with everyone around them begin to shift and change for the better. I have helped many attract the loves of their life and so many heal long term friendships, intimate relationships and also to let go of and heal from unhealthy ones. There is so much power in truly loving yourself and having the people around you reflect that love back to you. My partner of the last almost 9 years does that to me daily, as do my close friends and family – I am deeply blessed and this work resonates with me – body, mind and spirit!
It has come up 3 times in the last week that I need to raise my rates and also offer a larger package where I work with people consistently for a few months for deep, lasting transformation. Boy, does it make me uncomfortable but I also know better than to NOT do what the Universe has shown needs to be done. I will be keeping my free community and 7 day chakra class (Re-Awaken You) and my weekly donation based women’s circle the same. I will honor my monthly rates for people that sign up by this Friday for my continued work here. I will also continue to offer sliding scale to people who truly need it, resonate deeply with me, want to work with me and where we have a connection. But my rates are all going up – for mentoring, for all the other Akashic readings and for energy and shamanic work. I have 15 years of training and have helped thousands of people. I gave myself one huge pay cut and no raises the last 15 years. That does not say much about me truly practicing self-love and I would not encourage that for my clients. Time to walk my talk here too as uncomfortable as it may feel.
So I am offering my services through the end of this week (January 27) at my old (current) rates but on January 28 (my mom’s birthday) I will be raising my rates. I will take it as a nod from my mom. I am doing the web work myself (also sooo uncomfortable) but hope to have to have it all complete and my services page changed by then. So IF you have been wanting to work with me.. I will honor any session you get this week for a year.. for yourself or another at my old rates. After that I need to honor myself and the last 15 years of this journey and my rates will be going up a significant amount.
- For an Akashic reading and clearing please visit here. (This is for the basic, life situational, relationship as well as a guided Akashic journey (where you gain an attunement and learn how to access the records yourself).
- For a Life Path Focus Reading, visit here.
- For ongoing monthly mentoring/energy or my 3 month deep dive package visit here.
If you have any questions or want to jump on a consult call – please email me at email@example.com. It has been an honor to be able to help thousands of people change their lives. I love helping people and it is in my heart and my passion to serve others. I also know it is time to serve myself as well. With 2 kids and college loans, wanting to relocate and more, I am truly ready to own this part of my journey, and hope in doing so I encourage others to do so too! Sending much love your way!